Confessions Of A Splenda Stealer

Sometimes when you have an experience that leaves you with your jaw dropped, you need to reflect upon it to put everything into perspective.

I’m going to reflect on a moment I had about an hour ago. About two months ago, I had a few dates with this guy that I met while he was working in NYC on business from his hometown Boston. Honestly, we had a few great dates, then he left to go back to Boston and we texted and emailed since he left.

He told me last week that he was coming into NYC for two weeks. So naturally, I perked up. We text back and forth a few times, me asking when he settles in, we should get together.

A week goes by, no word. But this morning, I get this:

Hi Emily
Got your text last night, i am actually leaving in a couple hours. Ive been working late all week I also have a girlfriend now in Boston so I am not sure I will be able to hang out. Sorry I should have told you this earlier this week. Hope you have a good weekend.

…

…

What? I read it again. Nope, try again. I had to read it a few more times before I actually understood the words on my screen.

Then the emotions came and changed from one second to the next. The rate I went from sadness to anger to bewilderment was like accelerating from zero to 60.

After some reflection, and furious rounds of gchatting with my girlfriends, I came to a conclusion. I will file this one under “Will Laugh About This Later.”

Luckily, my status in life as a Splenda stealer has given me the strength to persevere over this minor annoyance with determination to put everything into perspective.

I have decided to look at it this way:

drinks and apps at Café Grey in Columbus Circle
+ drinks at the W hotel
+ dinner and drinks at Dos Caminos
+ drinks and dinner at The Spotted Pig
+ drinks at The White Horse Tavern

= lots o’ spending $$$$$$$ on me that he will never get back no matter how many LAME hours he works his life away as a BORING auditor in his cube. I mean, who doesn’t know who Jack Kerouac is??

I think he was turning prematurely gray anyway.

Take that fucker.