Confessions Of A Splenda Stealer

By nature, I’m a list-maker. Anytime I read or hear about something, anything, that sounds remotely amusing, I need to jot it down so I don’t forget to later Google or Wiki the hell out of it, possibly leading to me dropping by the local library for further research, a new website or blog I never knew about, or my amazon.com account to “add to shopping cart,” which is essentially just another list. I believe it stems from my fear that I will never have enough time to read or do or visit everything that I want to experience, so I feel the need to bookmark it.

But don’t let my label as a “list-maker” fool you. This neurosis of mine does not mean that I am a neat and tidy person by any means, and so my life-saver is the Post-It. This is what I imagine the inside of my brain to look like:

The dust bunnies in my room are tumble weeds of hair and Post-It remnants. (Not to be gross, but I do have a lot of hair.) If this living room were the inside of my brain, under one sofa cushion would be a reminder to “pay my bills online,” under the rug may be a note to research “cheap art classes, NYC,” and on the underside of the lamp shade may be “first warm day out, take a ride of the Staten Island Ferry!” complete with exclamation point. I like to order myself around, but so I don’t sound too bossy and piss myself off, I add !! as a way to instill excitement. I can only imagine the notes I’ll leave for my kids in their lunchboxes. I already feel sorry for them. “Hi Honey! I cut the corners off your sandwich just as you like–and go make a new friend today!! Love, Mom!!”

There is something about hurriedly scribbling down a random thought then slapping it on a hard surface that is so promising and satisfying at the same time. This is why I usually stick with Post-Its, which are pretty much like the typewriter of today’s daily planners. I have tried to use Delicious.com to bookmark websites and blog postings that I like as a way instead of having separate “favorite places” on my work and personal computer, but I still prefer post-its. Sometimes I wonder if my method of madness even works, or if my sheer amount of Post-Its and list-making makes me overwhelmed in the long run.

This Post-It of a thought likes to untack itself to flap around in my mind, but after this morning, I know my method does being its own ROI when I read the following on Eater.com:

Lower East Side : Per the signage above, the restaurant Fried Dumpling at 99 Allen has been evicted by its landlord…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I sobbed, silently to myself, then furiously copy + pasted the link into my gchat box with Ria. A few weeks back, when we were killing some time before heading to a birthday gathering at Barramundi, the two of us took the F train to the Delancey stop, and hopped in between rain drops thinking of where we could go to grab a bite to eat. Thanks to MY list-making tendencies, I remembered that there was a 5 for a $1 fried dumpling shop in the area (thank you Post-It # 5331). We arrived to this shop called Fried Dumpling on Allen and Delancey and each got an order of five fried dumplings for a dollar and a slice of something called a sesame cake (like eating a fried, thick, flatbread sprinkled with sesame seeds and dotted with chopped scallions,) for an additional 75 cents. Read=amazing. Probably not the best fried dumplings in NYC by a long shot, but I have not yet had the chance to explore Chinatown. For what it was, on a cold and rainy February night, the fact that I had a hearty meal with the spare change in my pocket was absolutely wonderful.

Now that it closed, I am so ever grateful for my neurotic list-making abilities. Had I never jotted this little gem down, I never would have experienced it. The list-making will continue, and now in heart and star-shaped Post-Its!!