Confessions Of A Splenda Stealer

Those of us who dig through our pockets to use every cent accounted for will be happy to hear about Dunkin Donuts’  promotion that lets us buy a small hot or iced latte on any weekday between 2 p.m. and 5 p.m. for 99 cents through Nov. 11. You can also get a 99 cent Egg and Cheese Sandwich with the purchase of a medium or larger hot coffee through Nov. 1.

All I have to say is that when I dug for pennies out of my purse to run down to the DD next to my building, I literally gave myself a pat on the shoulder for remembering to bring an extra dime to account for tax, because the cost of the latte really comes out to $1.07, at least in New York. But, I can’t complain. Much. All things considered, the coffee gods have been on my side for the better part of 2008. From the two Starbucks coffee cards I received back to back that got me free Wednesday coffees from April to the end of July, a few free iced coffee days at Au Bon Pain, DD, and when a Joe the Art of Coffee opened in Grand Central and handed out free coffee and treats, the past months have left me very jittery and happy, though slightly dehydrated.

With a dollar latte in hand and my free bag of Terra Chips (see below), I have just demonstrated how to make your own recession special combo.

No words. Just look.

Do you see what I see? OH. SNAP.

Complaining, in a polite way, seriously pays off. Along with an extremely apologetic letter about my bag of chips that left what normally would have been a happy midtown lunch to utter despair (note: see past posting), I received this coupon for a FREE bag of chips, and three more offering 55 cents off a few more bags.

Not that I condone complaining, but sometimes, it pays to whine. Sometimes, you need to just say to yourself, Hey, what about me. ME! I count too, you know.

Along with the instant pick-me-up/gratification of new hair color (I am no longer a blonde), the response I got from Terra Chips was a little confirmation of my existence in the world.

I will forever hold a small place for The Hain Celestial Group, Inc. in my heart.

I sleep with the TV on. I know it’s not good for me, thanks to all those studies that say how any ambient light during sleep is bad for your health. Whateves. I don’t like complete darkness. The other huge problem with this is that I often wake up to find something really bizarre playing on the television waves.

Last night around 2 am I awoke to someone screaming bloody murder on the TV–just another confirmation that I should turn off the TV before I go to bed–but first, I had to investigate what was on. A film with Nick Nolte, a very young Juliette Lewis and Jessica Lange had just found a man strangled in their kitchen from a metal wire…in his own pool of blood. Lovely. That image will get me right back to my REM sleep, for sure. But, as my curiosity usually gets the best of me, I had to watch for a few more minutes to see what the hell this movie was, as my remote got lost in my covers and I couldn’t not find the “info” button.

But alas, I didn’t have to wait too long before figuring out what the film was–the music tipped me off, and then a scene where a man who followed the family by hiding underneath their car as they drove to a houseboat on a cape. While the sign for the cape did give away the movie (Cape Fear), between the music and the imagery of the man hiding underneath the car–what of course popped into my head? That’s right–The Simpsons’ parody of the movie, in its episode titled “Cape Feare.” Immediately, I was able to recognize the film because I had seen the same scene in the cartoon–where Sideshow Bob tries to kill Bart on the houseboat, then finishes with the score from the HMS Pinafore. Of course, there was no opera singing in this movie, but instead, graphic violence that I laughed at–I was laughing at a murder scene at 2 am in the morning. I was laughing right after being woken up to a blood curdling scream because all I can picture instead of a creepy murderer played by Robert De Niro is Sideshow Bob continually walking into rakes that smack him in the face. (If you have seen this episode, you know how funny this is.)

I am nuts.

Treats Truck visit!! Cut to 2 pm on a gloomy, annoying Tuesday afternoon. In between raindrops, I hopped across to 38th and 5th for a MUCH needed cookie fix. The oatmeal jammy cookie with apricot preserves is one of my favorites. YUMMMMM.

crappy weather and crappy hair + oatmeal jammy = unexpected bliss