Confessions Of A Splenda Stealer

Given the holiday spirit in the air, I wrote this column with the idea of the film, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles in my head.

Little did I know that my reminiscing about a long night home was to become a reality last night, when a two hour bus ride from Allentown, PA to NYC turned into a three and a half ride. I love you too, Lincoln Tunnel. The kicker was when the bus drove through Hoboken to get to the Lincoln Tunnel. Unfortunately, there was no tape to press or button to push to let me off—only my boyfriend’s hand to squeeze. Luckily, his fingers are still intact.

But, all in all, it was just a small price to pay for a lovely festive Christmas weekend, split between NJ and PA.

As the novelist Thomas Wolfe put it, you can’t go home again.

While this phrase has been used to refer to the idea that when feeling lost, we seek to reach for our pasts that are never quite within our grasp, for this column’s sake, I’m going to speak about this nugget of wisdom on a literal level.

Sometimes, when it’s late at night, and you need to cross over a certain Hudson River to get home to Hoboken, it feels like you just can’t quite seem to get there. Continue reading →

I’ve mentioned it before, and I’m going to mention it again. Even though I’m 26 years old, at times, I still consider myself a child. Rather than age, I feel that you only act as old as you’ve been out in the real world.

I’ve provided the formula for this theory:

(Current age) – (year you entered the real world) = real age.

According to this theory, I’m only four, hence there are many things I’m still learning about life.

This past weekend, I learned a few life lessons, which I will share with you here.

#1 Don’t get on the bus until your traveling partner has arrived.

Friday, at 5:45 PM I boarded a bus with CP heading out to Wescosville, PA. Spoiled by the fact that most of my destinations have train stations, I’m not used to taking the bus, at least, to another state. I was also not aware that there were a few buses leaving to PA. After sitting on one for about 10 minutes, I realized that there was no way I would be able to save a seat for CP. I was that girl that went against the bus traffic–the one walking back up the aisle while everyone is trying to walk to the back of the bus. I definitely bopped people in the head with my bag full of Subway sandwiches.

#2 In PA, you order lager, not Yuengling.

Raised in Allentown, CP told me this bit of knowledge, to my delight. I love learning regional trivia. While I went to school in PA, I never knew about this, but then again, in college I didn’t drink too much Yuengling. Bacardi (and sometimes Malibu) were more of my thing. Shudder.

#3 The $2 beer does exist.

The Men and Whales show at the Arch St. Hotel (which isn’t a hotel, discuss) was an all around awesome show. Since CP is the bass player, I may be a bit impartial, but given that fact that the Catasauqua locals were rockin’ out too, since you know they are not there to make any new friends, it was excellent. Dancing fiends abounded.

One of the highlights was also just the freaking cheap prices. If you were in the band, Yuengling (we are not in PA anymore) was $1. For me, $2. There are no words to describe everyone’s giddiness.

#4 I do have patience.

Given the fact that it was the band’s holiday show, I berated CP for details about their set list, including what Xmas covers made the cut. I was denied numerous times, but I didn’t pout…much. It was worth the wait.

#5 No matter how many times I’ve said it, I love saying the name Ca-ta-saw-qua.

Truer words have never been said.

In The December issue of GQ, the editor, Jim Nelson, discusses how he predicted 2009 would be The Year of Nostalgia, in which America, faced with the indefinite recession, will seek comfort by looking back and trying to bring back the glories of America’s past.

He also points out how nostalgia is a movement greater than just a trend sparked by Mad Men, and how it’s a “powerful motivator in life, in politics, and increasingly, in the soul of this country, which, whenever it worries about its future, starts anxiously looking backward.”

I can confirm the return of nostalgia from the fashion trend reporting I conduct at my day job, and this past year,  going “back to the basics” and finding comfort in simplicity definitely reined true.

But for me, the funny thing is that I’ve always been curious about the simplicities of the past, and even more so over this year. I’m a 26 year old who probably should have been born decades ago. As evident in my fascination with typewriters, since I’ve come to know myself I find that I enjoy simplicity over fuss.

As also mentioned back in my “26 Candles” column, from my choice of birthday cupcake, 2009 has definitely been the pinnacle of me coming to terms with my own stubborn will about the reality of growing up in the digital age.

Now that I am at an age where my crayon colored childhood plan for “Adult Emily” no longer applies, perhaps I am, like the rest of America, seeking comfort. Not only from the fact that I live paycheck to paycheck as a Splenda Stealer, but my career choice in the magazine industry—which was once an ivory tower in my plan, is now shrouded in scaffolding, leaving me to figure out where I can make a difference with what I do best.

But, living in the past is only comfortable because we know the ending, and if I’ve learned anything from being a journalist, we always need to ask follow-up questions about the upcoming five or 10 years. Living a life of nostalgia should only be a passing phase or a thought and never a way to live in the long term, unless of course, Cookie monster cupcakes are involved, and then I will happily regress. It’s all about visiting, not living in the past. As an early New Year’s resolution, I look forward to 2010 and the open ended-ness of it all.