Tag Archives: rage

I’m Feeling A Little Opinionated

From the August 13th edition of Hoboken Progress…

It’s a rare occasion when I feel actual anger when walking to the PATH in the morning. Annoyance, yes. But, as I cornered the site of the old TD Bank North branch at First and Washington last week, it happened.

Walgreens, Hoboken, really??

Please Walgreen’s—I mean no harm. I don’t have a problem with your business per se, but rather, your new location. It’s a thing I have.

When I see an empty building with inspired, or historic architecture, I get ridiculously hopeful for what will become of it. When I saw the Walgreens name across the top of the grand building at First and Washington, I felt deflated.

On my way home that same day, I got the same feeling when I passed the building again, and it got me thinking. Every once in a while, I will come across something that surprisingly gets me heated.  I have very random, strong dislikes of the following: sneezing, intermissions, people who bite food off spoons, and girls that think the only way to date in New York City is to run around in stilettos. Please find a way to put an end to your Carrie Bradshaw fantasy world. (Phew! That felt good to get off my chest.)

I know I just brought up a few ridiculous topics that bring me distress in my life, but that’s exactly my point—I’m very opinionated about things that no reasonable person should feel opinionated about—for example, when establishments such as convenience store chains move into beautiful buildings. How boring.

What would I like to see in the space you ask? Well, I haven’t quite figured that out yet. I mean, when I was a kid, I dreamed of living under the sea. I just prefer to let my imagination run wild.

Also, visions of this new Walgreens remind me of some other uneasy thoughts I have about the future of another building in Hoboken, the Jefferson Trust Building on First and Clinton.

This site of a bank that originally closed during the Great Depression reminds me greatly of the episode in the Twilight Zone, ”Time Enough At Last”, when the character Henry Bemis, a bibliophile who never has time to read, survives an apocalypse of sorts and finally has the time to devour all the books in the world, but then drops and breaks his glasses.

courtesy of gcdougherty at webshots.com

The Jefferson Trust building resembles the look of the library, during the last scene, and so I have an unnatural attachment to this building. Over the past few months, the beginning of construction has begun, and I’m terrified for what it will become. Will I open my eyes one day to see it turn into a Wawa convenience store?

Hoboken, we’re only a mile long town. How many cookie cutter businesses do we need to fill up its unique historic beauty? Actually, when I think about it that way, my strong opinions about this don’t seem so unreasonable at all.

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Things I Loathe #84…Pigeons…

I once read that in New York City, although the drivers hate the pedestrians, and the pedestrians hate the drivers, it’s safe to say that everyone hates cyclists.

New York is quite a cutthroat kind of town. No matter the vehicle, wheels or feet, we all believe we own the pavement we are currently standing on.

A few months ago, there was a league of artists who painted a white line down Fifth Avenue that divided the sidewalk. One on side, the concrete was labeled “New Yorkers,” and on the other side, “Tourists.” And, if you don’t know what that refers to, the battle of sidewalk ownership that wages on day in and day out, “fahgettaboutit,”—you’d be on the ground before figuring it out.

It’s also quite ironic that although New Yorkers have a sixth sense for zeroing in on slow walkers (I personally have a infrared vision for those with wheelie briefcases) we sometimes have brownouts with our ability to observe what’s right in front of us while we are in our rush to get from point A to B.

For one, has anyone noticed how it’s not even the tourists who we should be annoyed at? Lately, my eyes have finally opened. Lower to the ground and a little less conspicuous are the worst offenders: the pigeons.

...scheming... courtesy ZeroOne on Flickr

As another vague reference from something I found entertaining but fail to remember who to quote, I once watched a comedy special in which the young female stand-up said something like, “I think New York is the only city in which I actually fear that garbage will fly into my mouth.”

I don’t fear garbage, but rather, pigeons flying into my head.

Don’t laugh. Who can say that they’ve never experienced a “low flyer,” a pigeon that seemingly gets a late start taking off, and so barely clears your head? Obviously, he didn’t get clearance from the tower.

Pigeons also have the worse strand of New York “blinders” and have “the walk” down pat: they look straight ahead when they’re walking (or flapping and hopping), so even though they are an eighth of the average pedestrian’s size, we get out of their way. When they flock together, I’ll even cross the street. Like an extremely disheveled man I saw today who walked in a questionably straight line while shouting obscenities at the top of his lungs, the rush hour crowd parted for him effortlessly. Pigeons have the same effect.

Okay, maybe pigeons aren’t as powerful or have an agenda as I make it seem, but I’m still wary when I find myself sharing the sidewalk with them.

Sorry Bert—I just don’t get it. But, I suppose we can learn to get along somehow.

At least they aren’t as bad as cyclists.

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A Choo.

It’s official. It’s not Spring for me until I feel my first pangs of itchiness in the corners of my eyes. Hayfever season is upon us, with my pockets full of Zyrtec.

I suppose it bodes well that I’ve always loved the Stay Puft marshmallow man from Ghostbusters, since I’m pretty much the spitting image of him after my eyes blow up. Ah. Such is life. It’s not going to stop be from being outside to enjoy the nice weather.

But, before I wax poetic about my desire to frolic, I will vent one more little rant, since for me, springtime is not only the time for itchy eyes, but also, the season of the sneeze.

The season of the sneeze. Big deal, you must think. It’s a natural response. It’s like breathing. You do it when you have to. Or do you??

You see, in a perfect world, the cycle would be easy: trees make pollen, pollen makes me sneeze, I sneeze, I blow my nose and then feel better until the whole lather, rinse, repeat cycle starts over.

But for me, I like to pick my battles, and as ridiculous as it sounds, I’ve picked a battle with the institution of sneezing.

I do NOT like to sneeze, or blow my nose in public, and I refuse to do so.

This may sound odd. I’ve been told by CP that he wasn’t aware that you could even take a stance on sneezing. Oh, but you can. Ladies and gentlemen, just like Jerry Seinfeld admitted “I haven’t thrown up since June 29th, 1980!” I too have a confession: I have been blocking my sneezes for as long as I can remember.

How can I stop a natural response to a stimulus to my respiratory system? It’s quite simple, really. I’ve just learned to somehow shut off (or close, I’m not really quite sure what I do) my nose and throat at the same time.

I think I’ve always hated to sneeze. It’s just messy, and your eyes water, and your nose drips. AND–more than anything, I can’t stand when others sneeze. It’s not even so much the germ thing as it is the noise thing. Some people can really hit high decibels when they sneeze. The worst offenders are those who don’t have a warning inhale. “CHOOOOOOOOOO!!!” While they are left feeling better, I’m the one with the quickened heart beat.

And so, I decided to make the world a better place by taking myself out of the sneezing game. I thought of it as helping to defeat noise pollution. I became a martyr.

But, just like Jerry, today was the day I lost my streak. As he said, “Fourteen years down the drain!” I’m not quite sure how long it’s been, but today, while watching the Today show and drinking coffee, I sneezed, and I let it all hang out. Everything–from the little inhales in when you feel a tickle, to the release in which you feel your throat clench was not blocked. It made CP happy, and I suppose it made me happy for my health, since a Googling session yielded Yahoo answers that when you hold in a sneeze, you run the risk of rupturing blood vessels or ear drums, which I doubt are true. Well, I may blow out an ear drum…but this sneeze was to see if I could do it; if I still knew how to sneeze correctly.

Verdict: it’s like getting back on a bike. I still don’t like it, but perhaps it is good to not reckon with the force.

Happy Zyrtec season!

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