Confessions Of A Splenda Stealer

As we are all well aware, I really do love freebies. I’m not “in like” with them–I LOVE them, and that is not a word I use lightly.

Coincidentally, it was just the other day that my co-worker asked me if I ever shopped at the now defunct grocery store Grand Union, back in the days when I was small enough to fit in my mom’s shopping cart. We reminisced/drooled about the Grand Union cookie club–a “club” where little kids got a card they could flash at the cookie counter for a freebie. This was the best deal ever, until you were about 11 or 12, and we turned from cute to awkward, and we weren’t allowed anymore freebies.

Anyway, today’s posting on NYC Daily Deals made me think about this when I read about the other free cookies and drinks you can collect on your bday, since today is the site editor’s bday.

Happy Birthday and thanks for the heads up.

courtesy nycdailydeals.com

If only I could make a fake i.d.s to score freebies when it’s not my bday…

Here they are again, for easier reading:

The Blinders Are Off…

As a Hoboken transplant, I’m not always an invested citizen. Since college, not sure as to where I will ultimately settle, every “home” I’ve had comes with an expiration date. This limbo sometimes skews my vision of Hoboken as if it were the Fisher Price Little People Village.

In this plastic village, I only pay attention to the news that I deem important, like my favorite bar, The Gold Hawk closing, rather than local politics. This analogy of course is ridiculous: First, real people have arms and legs; second, Hoboken is not plastic, nor void of non-toxic issues I can dismiss at whim.

It was in the second grade when I discovered I had this ability to tune people out. Like all children who find out that they have been blessed with a super-power, not everyone took to it without some disconcertion sent my way.

Day after day during lunchtime, I would finish my peanut butter and jelly on potato bread and as if I were unwrapping dessert, pull a book out of my desk, lick my fingers, and flip through the pages to consume a story.
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When I have a deadline, I need music. As far as my own work ethic is concerned, nothing is more distracting than silence. When the room is quiet, my ears feel as if they are just straining and waiting to pounce on any little sound to prove that I am not deaf. Just like our eyes respond to the pitch dark–when you feel your eyes constantly scanning for some source of light in an effort to prove that you haven’t gone blind. My ears work the same way, so I silence this neurosis with music.

But, this is no easy task. In college, I made “mellow” play lists, with more instrumentals or softer lyrics so that the music wouldn’t compete with my own thoughts. As I’ve gotten older, I have found that my music personalities have gotten more bipolar. I never know what kind of music I am in the mood for when I begin to write. Mid-sentence, if a song comes on that does not jibe with my writing mood, as if I bit into a sour grape, my nose crinkles and my gut reaction is to immediately flip to another song. Playlists are even pointless because I can’t even define the genre my mind craves. I become manic and itchy to find just the right sound.

Today, my mind has responded well, so far, with the sounds of Elvis Costello and the O’Jays, but reacted violently to The Strokes and The Counting Crows (the banjo jilted it).  Al Green is streaming now, and that also seems to have taken.

Of course, this is all good and well until Pandora slaps me in the face with: Unfortunately, our music licenses force us to limit the number of songs you may skip each hour. Usually I get frustrated and then just punch in a different song or artist to generate a new station, but it was at this moment when I saw the button for “Snack Rap Radio.”

Every few minutes or so, Pandora will refresh the page with a new ad. The ad for McDonald’s new, disgusting Mac Snack Wrap, for the person too lazy to open their mouth big enough to eat the classic Big Mac, featured a friendly yellow button labeled “Snack Rap Radio.” Intrigued, I had to take a listen. Assuming it would be food-related songs, I was incorrect. Apparently, snack wrap eaters like the sounds of T.I, Busta Rhymes, Lil Wayne, and Outkast.

Immediately, I saw this as some sort of twisted marketing scheme, and that this station was somehow a socioeconomic commentary on the McDonald’s consumer. Fired up to find the meaning of what McDonald’s was trying to say with this Snack Rap station, I did an instant Google search, in which the first entry to pop up was:

“Did you mean snack wrap?”

With that same sour-grape crinkled face, I looked at the search bar to see that I had in fact typed in “Snack Rap” instead of “Snack Wrap.” Oh. Ha. Ahem…Good one…I was the last to get the play on words. Oh, how nothing gets by you, Google.

And this is why Pandora also feeds my chronic procrastination–not only did I waste about 15 minutes with Snack Rap Radio, but I also wasted more time writing this post.

I’m switching to my Nano for the rest of the day now.

As someone who writes for a living, there are times when a topic will fall into your lap that you are less then enthused to, well, write about. But, as my dad says (who is an editor himself) being a professional doesn’t always mean loving every single word you punch into the keyboard; rather, it’s about getting the job done. He hit the nail on the head.

But as far as this space goes, I don’t care about professionalism–in these regards. I want to enjoy every blog post I conjure up here, and until I feel inspired, I would rather not post. My best posts come from an inner giddiness fired up with my desire to share. I never want someone to leave this blog thinking, “Well, I’m never going to get those minutes back.”

Hence my current dilemma. Busy with a friend’s wedding, hopping down to the Jersey shore on the weekends, and a few freelance gigs, when I have found a spare moment to log into wordpress.com and then click on “Add New Post,” sadly, this is as far as I have gotten. With so much to think about, it’s been a bit overwhelming for my mind to focus on an angle to deliver a post with a point.

And it’s not as if I haven’t tried.

a visual of me thinking...I smell something burning...

I have about five drafts sitting in in my blog dashboard, sadly staring at me. Their titles are (no subject). Yeah, no kidding.

In any case, I hope the creative juices will start to flow again, but in the meantime, I hope you have been enjoying my columns in Hoboken Progress.

PS–I scored a free Quaker Oats Chewy Bar as I headed to the PATH station yesterday morning. Sweet.