Confessions Of A Splenda Stealer

In the days when I actually had a Valentine, I remember stressing about what to buy for him. I’m not a big fan of the holiday, but I didn’t want to be a V-Day Grinch, so I did what any girl did when she wanted to give a gift where it was the thought that counted. I bought him a box of Mike and Ikes, or some other candy similar to the gummy family, and a card that read like this:

“I wanted to get you a card that said something warm and mushy inside…

(inside card, it read) OATMEAL!”

That’s about the extent of my sappiness. I go for corny. I will always for for corny over sappy. Why? Well, we could go around in circles, psycho-analyzing that statement, but in a nutshell, I will always rather laugh than be serious.

Looking back on this, at the heart of it (get it? haha, oh I kill myself!) perhaps I was looking for a way to vow my love for oatmeal, rather than my Valentine.

I really do love oatmeal. Rain or shine, paycheck week or not, those oats will always be there for me. You can dress them up, dress them down, and they will never let me down.

Most times, I will make them sweet, rather than savory, though there was this one time when my pantry was completely bare, and I made them savory with some mixed spinach, soy sauce, and red pepper flakes. Not bad, though it could have used some contrast in texture.

This is where the oatmeal recipe from Mark Bittman comes into play. The New York Times food columnist writes in his new book, Food Matters, about how individuals can lessen their dependence on industrial farming and its environmental impact by cutting down on the amount of animal products they consume. He suggests eating more fruits and vegetables and less meat. One way, is to eat more oatmeal, and in this recipe, he suggests serving oatmeal with scallions and soy sauce.

from seriouseats.com

From the Seriouseats.com post:

“Holy cats, savory oatmeal?! He can’t just casually combine those two words and not expect an onslaught of gasps and hyperventilating.”

The thought of gasps and hyperventilating made me laugh out loud, because that’s exactly what happened when I told my roommate that I made oatmeal for dinner. And I only told her because she asked.

As a self-proclaimed oatmeal expert, I will try this dish, and report back.

I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I’m a big deal. I must be. I got my OWN car to drive me from the Piers on 55th St. and 12th Ave. (I was there to report for some Gift Fair companies for the day job). Only, it wasn’t a car, but a bus. MY VERY OWN BUS.

Now, would you call this eco-friendly? Don’t get me wrong–I was so happy to get a ride from the middle of nowhere to Grand Central, where I work a block away, and when it’s 20 degrees out, but come on. I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty.

I should have sat in every seat possible. I should have run up and down the aisles. Perhaps a cartwheel or two. Who am I kidding, somersaults would have been my thing. My bus, MINE!

But, I didn’t. Instead, I sat in silence, stressing about the fact that I only had 37 cents on me when it would have been common decency to tip the driver. Oops.

Every sweet or sarcastic remark on this blog is dusted with a little Splenda so that even my Diabetic friends may indulge.

Last Sunday was a day to mosy around the Lower East Side. The LES is an interesting place; the grunge, the history, the dichotomy between chi chi brunch spots tucked in and around old tenement buildings and clothing lines really makes every block in this neighborhood like no other.

After our chi-chi brunch at The Stanton Social, the sis and I headed north to a destination thrift shop, called Cure Thrift Shop. I use the term “destination” to clairfy; this thrift shop is like no other. Yes, it supplies discounted high-end clothing and accessories, but with a saccharine twist— all sales go to Diabetes research. My sis is member of the team, and I act as a cheerleader of the cause, so we were both really excited to check out the goods.

From the store’s website:

“Imagine Neiman Marcus meets Sotheby’s at the intersection of Rodeo Drive and the Marrakesh Bazaar, right across from Fifth and Worth Avenues, with a pinch of Woolworth’s and a page from the Old Curiosity Shop thrown in…just for good measure.”

How could you not be intrigued? The founder was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes when she was 11 years old, and in July 2008, she streamed her passion for second-hand goods with her personal mission: to dedicate her life to finding a cure for diabetes, via the East Village in Manhattan. From clothing, shoes, bags, and homewares, all sales benefit the Diabetes Research Institute Foundation.

I think this is absolutely fabulous. Even more exciting was that for the six month anniversary sale, all clothing was 50 percent off, and the clothes were in great condition and ridiculously cheap.

I found a COOP Barney’s blouse for $50, but because of the sale, it was only $25—and it counts as a donation to a hell of a cause. I was happy to do my part.

I wore the blouse to work today:

Fashion and philanthropy. A perfect duo. Sweet.

Cure Thrift Shop. 111 East 12th St., New York, NY 10003

See?? I don’t mean to gloat, but this is just another confirmation that more and more are adopting the Splenda Stealing ways.

Below, a post from Fitsugar.com: