Confessions Of A Splenda Stealer

OMFG

Spotted: Wednesday evening, walking up to the UES,  SS (Splenda Stealer) was on her BB when she was distracted by the glimmer and reflection of stage lights across a line of trailers outside an apartment building and a synagogue. SS overheared a man with a walkie-talkie mention two golden words: Gossip Girl to two curious onlookers. SS immediately slipped her BB into her coat pocket and quickened her pace to secure a spot closer to the set behind five Europeans, excitedly whispering Das ich gut GOSSIP GIRL!! and two other giggling, 20-something aged girls.

A giddy SS dug again into her coat pocket for her BB and called Ms. Ball O’Sunshine who cried LUCKY!! into her BB, and then again, quickly hung up when crew members called for quiet on the set. SS cursed her BB for not having a camera while a women from the crew yelled at traffic to drive by faster to get out of the shot. Gossip Girl is the ruler of the city.

Enter: C (Chuck Bass, aka, Ed Westwick) from the apartment building, walking closer to SS. SS looks to her right to find a limo pulled up beside her and the other stalkers observers. C has to walk directly next to her, read: the fibers from his extremely tailored, black cashmere coat kissed the fibers of her 100 percent wool shell Banana Republic coat, made in the Phillippines. C’s height was an inch or two taller than SS, who stands 5’6” in flat boots. He is even better looking in person.

The rest was hazy for SS. Something about a scene filmed with B (Blair Waldorf, aka Leighton Meester) who met him outside the apartment building, then the pair jumped behind the limo when another on-screen mystery couple existed the hotel or synagogue, SS couldn’t tell. The 30 degrees out temperature made for SS’s eyes to tear up, yet all was right in the world.

Cold and delirious, SS quietly backed away from set after her version of Gossip Girl LIVE, to reconvene her trek to meet Ria at Spice on 73rd for Thai. SS walked an extra avenue in the wrong direction by mistake, as she was so enamored by what she just witnessed.

xoxo

Last week, I took off Monday and went to the Westminster Dog Show with the mom. It took me a week to finally upload the pics. Here are a few to wrap up the day:

Hehe. We snagged amazing seats next to Ring Three, where all the herding dogs were competing. To call us obsessed would be an understatement.

I grew up with two shetland sheepdogs (the smaller dogs pictured above), Bonnie and Daisy, and my parents got another one, Maggie, after I graduated college, but helped train and raise because I lived at home for a year and a half after school. While we happily watched other breeds in the ring, for some reason, we always return to favoring the shelties and the rough collies.

In one of these pictures is a white collie, which is extremely rare. It looks like a typical collie in disguise.

These dogs were absolutely gorgeous, and so well behaved. I even got to feed one of them a cookie in the benching area!! Good hooky day.

FREEBIE DAY GALORE!! Bleary eyed, as I walked out of the PATH station on 34th St. this morning, a guy was giving out FREE Quaker Oats granola bars! I grabbed two of some flavor with coconut and banana flavoring. Gotta love free promo samples. And to think that I almost used the 32nd St. exit.

Oh, thank jeebus! My gym is open today:

Its door was closed for the past few days, so I got nervous. Now, I know what you all must be thinking. But I implore you to think further, as a Splenda Stealer. Look beyond the dusty, musty staircase. What do you see??

First, before I tell you about my brilliant idea, let me tell you a story. One upon a time, when this Splenda Stealer first moved to Hoboken, she joined a gym that had the cheapest rate in Hobo–$69.00 a month. I had no cash to pay for a year up-front, but I was in dire need to work out and check out the guy eye-candy in my new hometown, so I signed the contract knowing I was half signing away my soul should I ever need to quit. TIP–if you can manage, never give a gym your credit card info, that way when you need to quit, you won’t be continuously billed for months, only to be told you have to take it up with the corporate office, whose phone doesn’t even have an answering machine.

Luckily, when I moved a year later to a new apt. downtown, my gym actually closed due to some sketchiness including the IRS or something. I WAS FREE!! I had to quit anyway, so timing was perfect and I didn’t lose out on any money.

Fast forward, a few months later, around turning 25 years old in November and again, I am in dire need of exercise. While I do walk a ton, I missed the yoga and pilates classes and easy cardio options that the gym offered.

Fast forward again to January 2009, and I made the typical resolution we all make–to get back in shape, but shockingly, I vowed to do it–WITHOUT THE GYM. Gym memberships in Hobo and NYC are so ridiculously expensive that I rebelled and challenged myself to get in shape without a monthly gym fee.

End of story, er, rant. Anywho, one day while opening the door to my office, I noticed that the door to the staircase was propped open, and I had an epiphany. As long as I’m not wearing heels, I could climb 20-30 flights of stairs whenever I need a break from my desk. Who needs a stepclimber machine (which always freaked me out anyway) when I have 30 free flights of stairs to use at my whim?

A few days of the week, when I feel antsy, I ride the elevator down to the lobby, run into the doorway marked STAIRS so no one sees me, and then I power it up to the 20th floor, sometimes further. While it’s a great cardio routine, it also gets my heart pumping because I’m terrified that someone will see me. I’m not embarrassed that I’m taking the stairs, but it’s the WAY I do it that’s a little embarrassing: on every step, I twist my torso from side to side, swinging my arms back and forth with bent elbows, tightening my core, and then I pretty much lunge forward with each step I take. I look absolutely ridiculous, and even more so because I’m usually in a pencil skirt.

One day I did pass another guy on the steps. I equate the experience with what it must feel like to be matched with someone you know on an online dating website: you are horrified that someone finds you, but then instantly relieved because they are doing it too.