Anyone remember those commercials in the ’80s for MicroMachines that featured that guy who is a speed talker? Or perhaps you may remember him in Saved by the Bell as Mr. Testaverde, the fast talking history teacher who forced Jessie to write so fast that smoke formed from her fast-writing pencil in her notebook?
I have found a girl who could give this guy a run for his money. There is a girl in my office who is an assistant of sorts. I swear to God, the girl talks so fast that for the first few days I honestly thought she spoke another language. I can’t even hear the middle syllables of her words; all I can hear are prefixes and suffixes. She is that fast.
Ever take that stupid quiz where the first and last letters are in the correct place, yet the letters in between are all jumbled, yet you can still read the word? She sounds like how that looks to the eye. Ultimately, you understand what she said, even if you have no idea how she got there.
Also, her transitions consist of one phrase: “You know what I’m sayin’?” She uses it like a Valley Girl would use “like.” In a time period of three minutes, I counted how many times she used this phrase. From 11:17 am to 11:20 am she said that phrase a total of 25 times. (!) I am not kidding. And she was still talking non-stop for a few more minutes, but I just got tired of making tally marks.
Would it be rude to close the door to the room I work in so I don’t have to listen to her? She forces me to wear my iPod because it has become like Chinese water torture. Whenever I hear her talk–I have to stop what I’m doing to listen for the “You know what I’m sayin’?” I can’t stop….please make it stop.